Anguish

why the anguish of my soul persists?when I know the seat is not mine after all but hers. foolish indeed to desire for the divine throne that thou has caged.  why all these tears well and flow and rise from underneath ? when you told me to awash my face with ashen truth unveiled .  You never told me to wait;but I keep my candle burning while you digress. 
you never told me to wash thy feet.but you stoke it with  the traces of her kisses.
how you adore the rising moon,yet unwilling to fly to claim  its boon. 
I  can see a million dusk and dawn coming,  yet  her scent lingers  and the images dance though in hiding.
why this pain stabs me too deep I can no longer breathe.would death calm my soul  at once? or would  I be punished forever for the bane i deserved ? I know nothing when she foretells your everythingthy lips despiseth but thy heart is screaming.
so all these anguish I bear for years, lest she grant your wishes. then on my bed i will weep no more but dream of  flying to the moon alone.   ©jenh2011